


Resolve

by Kien Rugastelo (cein)



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt No Comfort, Non-Consensual Blood Drinking, Post Acid Tokyo, Pre Infinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26987953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cein/pseuds/Kien%20Rugastelo
Summary: When Fai resolves to starve to death after his transformation, Kurogane hurts the both of them to save him.
Relationships: Fay D. Fluorite & Kurogane
Kudos: 16





	Resolve

**Author's Note:**

> Additional TW regarding the non-consensual blood drinking in the End Note
> 
> I think this is the first time I've tried writing in present tense, so if tenses get clumsy, that's why.

Kurogane’s resolve breaks before Fai’s does.

It has been 3 worlds since Tokyo. 3 worlds of sorting through the remnants of too much residual magic (Fai’s magic — one eye chasing the other just as Fai had suspected it would). 3 worlds left in a state of upheaval. 2 worlds far too late, and then 1 world where Mokona detects the feather one moment (and in that moment there is hope that this would be the world that they caught up to him — that they could make things _right_ ) before it vanishes from the world entirely.

Kurogane suggests that they bed down for the night at least before moving on, because while this village is devoid of life it is also devoid of corpses, and they can cling on to the idea that maybe the residents were still okay wherever they had evacuated to. He knows better — _Fai_ knows better — and there is _no life at all_ besides themselves as far as his senses can reach (and Kurogane has an idea of what can happen to a body in the face of so much magic), but maybe Mokona doesn’t know, and maybe Sakura doesn’t know, and maybe by some miracle _this_ Syaoran hadn’t benefited from the other’s training and even he doesn’t know. Kurogane is not the sort of person to lie to himself about such things, but he can still wish it to be true, just so that the kids can experience a reprieve even if it is just for the night.

The small cabins are all studio affairs with hardly a cot each, and in the light of the truth, it is easy for Kurogane to agree they can all take one to themselves. It’s not as if anything was likely to attack them on a dead world, and just barely missing catching up to _him_ has devastated them all and they need space to privately grieve. It also makes his next task easier.

Because it has been weeks since the transformation and Fai has not fed.

Initially, Kurogane had resolved to be patient. He had come to Fai each night with a fresh cut on his arm and bade him to eat, and then waited until Fai rebuffed him directly or until the wound closed up on its own to retreat. He had trusted that eventually Fai would either consciously make the choice to live — to honor his promise to stay by Sakura’s side — or break under the strain of gnawing hunger. In retrospect, he should have known better.

Today, Fai had quivered like a leaf in the wind, listing to one side or the other at the lightest pressure and stumbling directly to his cabin at the very first opportunity. There was no way the kids hadn’t seen it — no way that Fai hadn’t known that the kids had seen it — and Kurogane chooses this night to honor a promise of his own.

When it was time for him to die, Kurogane would kill Fai himself.

But until then, Fai would live whether he wanted to or not.

* * *

Walking into Fai’s cabin feels dishonest. Kurogane knows Fai expects tonight to go just as all the others. Kurogane would break his skin and approach the cot. He would make his arm available and order Fai to feed. Then he would wait. And then, Fai expects him to leave, because Fai is the liar, not him. Despite his ninja status, Kurogane is not one for sneaky tactics — not one for treachery and deceit.

Kurogane has a job to do, however, and he will see it through.

When the door clicks shut behind him, Fai doesn’t even spare him a glance, and Kurogane only knows he’s even awake by the pattern of his breaths. He deliberately does not think about what he is about to do — does not risk Fai picking up that something might be amiss even in his frail state. He cuts his arm, as always. He leaves the knife near the door as always. He crosses the room in 4 strides, then squats down astride Fai’s cot, stretching his arm out, just as always.

“Eat,” he grumbles, voice steady (and he thinks he is going to be sick because it should not be so easy for him to lie, even like this, but it is and he thinks he may have passively picked up the skill from Fai).

“No,” murmurs Fai, and usually here he would turn away, but Kurogane thinks he might not even have the strength for that right now. His eye stays closed; he does not even grace Kurogane with a huff. He just lays there still and to Kurogane’s eyes it seems as if he is practicing for a coffin.

It is _that_ thought which spurs him to action.

Kurogane’s other arm shoots forward to grab Fai by the shoulder and yank him straight off the cot, and when Fai opens his mouth to shout, Kurogane fits the wound of his arm into the space. In the next moment, Fai is pinned with his back against Kurogane’s front, kicking and thrashing and trying to scream, and it should not be this easy for Kurogane to hold him down like this. Fai should be stronger than this — Fai should be able to break his clumsy hold like it was made of paper and _how did they let him get this bad?_

But Fai is still bucking, feet still scrambling for purchase, nails still scouring Kurogane’s arms, head still jerking every which way in an attempt to dislodge the arm that is currently pinning it securely to Kurogane’s breast, and Kurogane can’t see what kind of face Fai is making but he can feel the panic ripping through that thin form and he hates this. He hates this but he won’t let go — _can’t_ let go yet. “Eat, damn you!” Kurogane growls out through his teeth and tries not to think about how much it sounds like a plea in the moment, and that only makes Fai struggle harder in his grip.

Fai probably means to snarl out something scathing and that is when Kurogane finally feels teeth rip into his arm, but Fai is the one who flinches. Kurogane realizes Fai hadn’t meant to bite down and tear, but the damage is done and Kurogane can _feel_ his blood filling that mouth much more quickly, and for an instant everything else stops.

The fight shifts, and Fai is no longer fighting Kurogane so much as he is fighting his hunger, and a desperate keen rips through Fai’s throat. His head bobs back and forth in aborted movements as if he can’t decide whether to try to pull away or to latch on more securely, and his hands still grip Kurogane’s arm, twitching one way and then another. But Fai is losing and Kurogane can see his throat working as he swallows again and again and again, and for all Kurogane can feel heat and life returning to the body he holds, Fai seems to be trying to shrink into himself with every passing moment, but it’s Kurogane’s chest that tightens.

It feels too intimate. Fai’s spine still runs the whole length of Kurogane’s front. Fai’s legs still sprawl tangled with his own. Fai’s torso is still locked beneath Kurogane’s free arm. It is a pose better suited for lovers than whatever he and Fai are at the moment, and Kurogane’s stomach churns at that because Fai _doesn’t want this_. Kurogane had forced him here — was still forcing him here — in a mockery of an embrace that Fai had literally fought tooth and nail to escape, only to surrender to his own helplessness and exhaustion in the face of Kurogane’s greater strength. He feels as though he has violated Fai as surely as if he had ripped the man’s clothes off and took even more liberties with his body. 

Kurogane is not sure which one of them hates this more.

The hitch in Fai’s breath is the only warning Kurogane gets and he only just manages to school his face into the familiar shape of rage before Fai launches him across the room with all the strength Kurogane had known he could bring to bear. Kurogane manages to land in a crouch and Fai is on his feet, panting and angrier than Kurogane has ever seen him before, but he stays by his cot, as far away from Kurogane as the room allows.

Kurogane sucks in a breath and brings himself up to full height, meeting Fai’s scathing glare with a glower of his own. “Shape up or we’ll be doing this again,” Kurogane threatens. (He doesn’t think he has the stomach to go through this again.)

“Fuck you,” is the hissed reply, and that’s alright. Kurogane prefers him angry because at least now Fai looks alive, and maybe just the threat of a repeat occurrence will be enough to motivate him to feed when he should. Fai can hate him now — _should_ hate him now — with every cell in his body, and if Kurogane is lucky, then Fai will relish the chance to injure him every night and suck down his hated blood if only to stay strong enough that Kurogane can never do such a thing to him again.

Kurogane leaves without an ounce of satisfaction.

* * *

In the morning, Kurogane catches how Sakura lights up just a little at the sight of Fai invigorated, and he hopes that _this_ more than the events of the night before is motivation enough for Fai to feed.

* * *

_“You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to. I’ll just let it flow like this.”_

_Fai isn’t sure if this is a lie, but he is not prepared to test it — not prepared to learn if Kurogane is becoming a liar like him. Either way he will never allow himself to become so weak ever again._

_Kurogane isn’t sure if Fai knows it’s the truth, but he hopes he believes it to be a lie. He’s not sure what he would do if he ever saw Fai willingly wasting away like that ever again._

**Author's Note:**

> TW physical/sexual assault - Kurogane compares his own actions to committing sexual assault, and the struggle between him and Fai may be triggering in the same regard, though I did not intentionally write it sexually. The fight itself isn't any worse than the Fuuma/Kamui fights.


End file.
